Wisdom Rising

Navigating Family Dynamics During a Spiritual Awakening

• Christine Renee, Isabel Wells, and Shantel Ochoa • Season 1 • Episode 29

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Do you feel like the spiritual 'black sheep' of your family? If you're going through a spiritual awakening, you may find yourself wondering how to navigate family dynamics as the spiritual black sheep, especially during the holiday season. In today's episode, we explore what it means to be the spiritual black sheep and how we can navigate family dynamics with compassion, learning to honor our authentic selves and set loving boundaries.

Along the way, we share tools and techniques you can apply to your own family experiences, and share our personal stories of navigating the holidays and family during a spiritual awakening.

We also explore: 

  • How to address potential triggers with compassion and understanding
  • Using the role of the "spiritual black sheep" to break generational patterns
  • Strategies for maintaining compassion, honoring boundaries, and reducing anxiety
  • Fostering mutual respect and understanding of different belief systems
  • Overcoming psychological tendencies like hostility bias and promoting open-hearted communication
  • Cultivating personal growth and spiritual authenticity through self-awareness
  • Energetic hygiene and chakra management for spiritual transformation
  • Maintaining personal integrity and peace in family dynamics
  • And more!

We hope you enjoy today's episode. Be sure to join our Facebook Group to keep the conversation going! 

Curious about our Soul Rising Shamanic Reiki course? Click here: https://moonrisinginstitute.com/soul-rising/

Moon Rising Shamanic Institute Links:
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Book a FREE 10 minute connect call with Christine: https://calendly.com/christinerenee/10-minute-connect-call-srpt

Speaker 1:

It's time to remember your divine purpose and limitless potential. Welcome to Wisdom Rising, the official podcast of Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. Join shamanic Reiki practitioners Christine René, isabel Wells and Chantelle Ochoa as we guide you on a journey of radical self-discovery and spiritual guidance. Each week, we'll dance through the realms of shamanism, mysticism, energy, healing and personal development to illuminate your path to true healing and self-sourced wisdom Through weekly inspired conversations and interviews with leading spiritual and shamanic practitioners. We are here to help you acknowledge, reconcile and balance your energy so that you can awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within. Welcome back to another amazing episode of the Wisdom Rising podcast. I'm your host for today, isabel Wells, and I'm so excited and honored to be joined with our mystic, chantel Ochoa, as we dive into how you can navigate family as the spiritual black sheep. This conversation is for anyone and everyone who feels like they're going through, or have gone through, a spiritual awakening and suddenly find themselves left with values, beliefs, opinions, energies, emotions and worldviews that no longer align or match up with your family. As we head into the holiday season, you might be gearing up for conversations that can be full of judgment, triggering, difficult and leave you feeling like you're the odd man out, but today's conversation is going to show you how to navigate those conversations with compassion. Stand in your truth without being abrasive or aggressive, how to leave yourself open for compassionate connection while still honoring your boundaries and staying true to your authentic self, and, of course, tips and tricks for how to stay grounded and balanced in your energy as you move through these experiences. Although today's conversation approaches this topic from the lens of the holidays, this episode is applicable to anyone and everyone wondering how they can navigate their family with more ease and flow. This episode is packed with tips, tricks, techniques and wisdom, and we'd love to hear your top takeaway over in our Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group. Our community of thousands of like-minded souls continue to have conversations just like this. So if you're looking for a way to connect with other people where this kind of conversation is the norm, then head on over to our Facebook community, moon Rising Shamanic Mystics. And, of course, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so that we can reach more listeners like you and so you get access to new episodes sooner. And, of course, if you're interested in working with us one-on-one, know that we have holiday discounts on all one-on-one sessions for the rest of the year, as well as early early bird pricing on our soul rising shamanic reiki course. So if you're ready to dive into a four-month container or learn more about the program, feel free to send us an email at mystics at moonrisingshamanicinstitutecom, or head over to our website, moonrisinginstitutecom to learn more.

Speaker 1:

In the meantime, let's dive in to today's show. Welcome, welcome to another amazing conversation. I'm joined here with Chantel today to talk about how we can support our families as the spiritual black sheep and everything that that entails, so not just how we can really embody that energy in a way that's going to be constructive and beneficial for everyone involved. And I know that this is one of Chantel's passion topics, so I'm going to let her take the lead on our conversation today as we dive in.

Speaker 2:

That's funny. Well, I think for most of our listeners we are the black sheep of the family, so to speak, the spiritual black sheep. But it really the conversation here that I think is going to be so fun and inviting is recognizing one, how we can show up for our family, but also how we're going to be able to show up for ourselves, Because I know that holidays a lot of times can be very, can invoke anxiety and stress and kind of like how's the conversation is going to go? What's the table talk going to be? Are people going to judge me? Are they going to accept me for where I'm at?

Speaker 2:

You know, especially if you're in the beginning of an awakening or even the middle of an awakening, right, and you're starting to see things from a different perspective and a different point of view, your conversations shift, and those conversations are not always known by everybody else, and then you kind of look like the crazy woman in the room, like why are you talking about that? And so I think this is just a great conversation to come forward and say it's okay, we're all experiencing that in our families and that our family members will get there when they're meant to, and so it also gives us the space to be able to say that we don't have to have all these conversations right. We can pick and choose what we want to discuss at the table and not feel like we're all eyes on us, unless we're the one that wants to be extremely outspoken and say, hey, did you know about this, have you heard about that? And that's your prerogative right, that's your free will to do that if you're out there planting those seeds.

Speaker 2:

But for those who kind of just want to like, vibe and flow with the family this year we definitely have some tips and tricks on how to hang with the family and just be. And our energy is going to be in the space in which we're in. So, no matter what we do and say, our energy flows with us. So we can just be that energy body in the space in which we're in. So, no matter what we do and say, our energy flows with us. So we can just be that energy body in our home and our family experiences and allow them to receive that healing from us.

Speaker 1:

Just to be in our presence.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. What do you think? Well, you know it's interesting because I think when we talk about this idea of being the spiritual black sheep, first, we should probably start by defining what is it that we mean when we say you know the spiritual black sheep of your family and that's you know. I think for a lot of people who are listening to the podcast or in our Facebook group, who have found Reiki or shamanism or crystals or chakras or oracle and tarot cards or whatever it is that has brought you into this space of spiritual awakening, if you had been raised in a family that was full of spiritual awareness and alignment, you wouldn't be going through an awakening now, right, and so a lot of us end up feeling like that spiritual black sheep, in that we were raised in a family that. Maybe it was. You were raised in a religious family. Maybe you were raised in a secular family that just had a lot of limiting beliefs. Maybe you were just raised in a pretty standard normal family and you've just found yourself opening up to new things. The origin here doesn't really matter, except that typically what happens is you're coming from a family that is more focused in their perspective, and what I mean by that is maybe a little less open-minded, a little less open-hearted. Not because they're doing anything wrong, not because they're bad people, not because their perspective is less than that's not what we're saying here but it's that they have found either religion or work or a set of beliefs that they really firmly believe in and that is their worldview. And so that then becomes the worldview that you are raised in. And as you step into adulthood and you start exploring again, whatever tool it was that opened you to a different perspective whether that's Reiki or shamanism or whatever it is suddenly you start to see that there's a different way of perceiving this and you go through that awakening and in the process you end up feeling like the odd man out in your family, right, especially if your family has again a really firm set of beliefs, whatever that is, that forms their worldview, which we all have, right. But when we turn into that spiritual black sheep is when our set of beliefs start to be very different from our family set of beliefs. And again there's no right, wrong, good, bad here. It just is what it is.

Speaker 1:

And this community is full of people who believe that they have found their path to truth and to alignment and to connecting with the divine. And so this is where I always like to share with our students who are going through this process of looking at. You know, my beliefs have suddenly shifted so far from my family and I don't know how to interact with them. I don't know how to be with them without feeling judged. I don't know how to share my beliefs without feeling like they think I'm wrong or that I think they're wrong or whatever it is.

Speaker 1:

It's this idea of capital T truth versus lowercase t truth and I share this with our Soul Rising students all the time of this idea that you know, whether it's a religion or a philosophy or whatever, it is right. We all have this understanding that there is a great universal truth to how everything in the world, in the universe, in life works. There is this capital T truth of all that is, and we have all of these world religions, philosophies, ways of thinking et cetera that are all trying to put into words that capital T truth. But the problem with that is that this capital T truth is an experience. Right, it is all that is. It is a state of being, it's an experience, and you can't get an experience and fully encapsulate it in a sentence, a book, an essay, into words. It just doesn't work. And so as soon as we try and take this greater experience and bring it down to the level of human words and thought, we lose a little bit of that essence.

Speaker 1:

There's this great Buddhist not quite a parable, but this Buddhist story about the fingers pointing at the moon. They're all pointing at the same thing, but they get so caught up in the act of trying to point at the right part of the moon that they forget that they're all looking at the moon. And there's that other version of that. That's the elephant, the three blind men with the elephant. One holds the trunk, one holds the tail and one holds a tusk. And they all think the elephant looks different.

Speaker 1:

But it's this idea that we have, this great capital T truth of how the universe works. And when we bring it to the level of thought, when we bring it into practice in our own lives, we all have our own version of a lowercase t truth, which is our perception of that capital t truth, our way of feeling aligned with and connected to all that is, to the divine, to whatever your word for that is. And so this is this foundation that we lay when we step into the space of being the spiritual black sheep is. We have to start with this awareness that we lay when we step into the space of being the spiritual black sheep is. We have to start with this awareness that there is no right or wrong in that way, right Like there are different opinions and they are all valid.

Speaker 1:

Like Chantal was saying, we are all allowed to hold the opinions that we hold, and I think so often what happens when we feel like the spiritual black sheep is we end up feeling like somebody's wrong and somebody's right, and typically it's one of two ways. We either feel like we have found this way that really aligns with us and we feel so connected, but we feel like everyone is judging us right. We have that unworthy, complex or limiting belief come up and we feel judged. We feel like the odd man out, we feel like we're being pushed down and constricted because of our beliefs. Or we end up feeling so excited about this new way of seeing the world and we want everybody to understand it the way that we've understood it, and we find ourselves trying to share that with everybody around us and thinking that, well, if I could just help them to see it this way, if I could just change their story to this, then it would really help. And so we either have this inward energy of being judged and constricted, or we have this outward, pushing energy of trying to change everybody else's or share everything that we know, and we end up in this state of imbalance and a lot of it comes down to.

Speaker 1:

Can we bring all of this back to this understanding of capital T truth versus lowercase T truth?

Speaker 1:

However, you want to explain that to yourself and realize that, first and foremost, there's no right or wrong here. There's your lowercase T truth and their lowercase T truth. And how can we cultivate a space where everyone's opinion, everyone's belief set, is respected? Everyone's opinion, everyone's belief set is respected, whether you think they're right or not? Can we cultivate a space where there is respect on both sides? Because, as the spiritual black sheep, you want your views and your beliefs to be respected, but so does the family member sitting across from you at the table and the very first place to start, whether it's in having open conversations where you're sharing your beliefs, or it's just in being able to, you know, get through the day in a feeling of balance and camaraderie, and maybe you don't share as much is that recognition that we're all coming to the table on an even spectrum. We are all equals here, we are all welcome here, and just as I want my beliefs and views to be nurtured and allowed and respected, they do as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, all of that was wonderful. I was like taking notes over here. So definitely like on the internal and the external, on how we approach a conversation, right, if we find ourself in a situation where we feel like we have to defend it and we're being in it, we're in an defensive energy we have to ask ourself why is that? Is that the ego coming through because we feel like we've been judged, we've been suppressed in our thoughts and our experience and all these things? Or is it really because we want this change of action to happen for our loved ones Because we all have our loved ones, that we see, that we know we can help, right, on some level we can help and a lot of times, you know, if you're a Reiki practitioner and you're in the healing business and you're like I can help you with that pain or that emotion or whatever, let me just get in there and help you release it. But that really isn't our job and you know to always be pushing on it. So we do have to ask ourselves is it? This is an opportunity for us to go within and say what is it that is my, what's my why, what's my purpose here of why we want to come forward and just spill out all of these new things that we have learned and what we know. Because if you start talking about, you know, energy work and star seeds and all these different concepts that people probably don't understand you really are going to look a little like people are going to look at you like what happened to her? You know what is she going through, what kind of cult is she in, even though in our way we know that's not what it is. We absolutely know it's not a cult, it's not BS. The energy work is true, it's real. All of these things, that is our truth. But when we're trying to speak to our family members, our friends that we're coming together with over the holidays, that aren't where we are, we just have to have that understanding too, and then it's just a great time of learning, you know life lesson for ourself.

Speaker 2:

Now, if it is where you're feeling judged, what are some things that we can do in that moment of connecting with ourself and just breathing through it? Allow ourself to come back to breath, allow ourselves to connect with our heart, to take a break, to go out into nature. You know, do a couple things that are going to allow you to separate your energies so that it doesn't become argumentative or defensive or you leave the party feeling like you know what, just another Christmas or just another holiday, family meeting, you know, or gathering where I felt ostracized or I felt not included, right. And so it really is coming back to this space within ourselves that if we are working for our healing right, we have to see it as a part of that too, and so it's a great opportunity to allow our triggers to come through and to recognize what they're there for. What are the root cause? Getting down to that root cause healing right.

Speaker 2:

And so when we can really focus on that and take a breath and go for a walk around the neighborhood, whatever it is, we can come back to the conversation in a different mindset and a different perspective and just know that not everybody is where we're at, and that's okay.

Speaker 2:

And they might have a truth that they want us to learn from them, and that's where communication is. So they might have something that might spark some kind of thought or idea with you and you go. You know, I would have never even seen it like that or thought like that if we weren't open to this conversation. So it really does go both ways. We're here to learn from each other as well, so recognizing that sometimes being the listener is the better way to go, because you might hear something from your family member that you would have never heard. That is going to bring the conversations to a balance, like you were talking about, because that's what you want. What you want to do is come into balance, come into harmony so that when you are at these family events, you're not leaving feeling upset, they're not leaving feeling upset that you can leave and go about life again and feel like, well, that was a great experience.

Speaker 1:

And you know it. It reminds me of that shamanic principle that we see across a lot of different teachings, of this idea of reciprocity, right? This idea that when we receive, we are energetically called to give back and vice versa, that it's not this we're beholden to someone else, not that we owe someone something, but that there's this cycle of energy. And when we enter into that energetic exchange with someone, there's that idea of you know, there's Newton's third law of every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right, but energetically. It's that idea that when we enter into this flow with someone, what we give is close to what we're going to receive, and vice versa. And so, when we're in these conversations, if we can have an open heart and we can approach it with this idea of you know, maybe, like Chantel said, maybe they will have something that I hadn't thought of before. Right, if we can enter into it with this understanding that every conversation we have, every person we meet, every exchange that occurs over the holidays and just across our life in general, is for reason and purpose. There is something for me here. It immediately opens us up to, instead of searching for the ways that we are being judged in a conversation, we begin searching for the ways that we're being judged. In a conversation, we begin searching for the ways that we're being supported, and this is actually a really interesting psychological fact. There's this phenomenon called the hostility bias that we just inherently in our neurology, in our psychology, have a tendency to believe that people are judging us or we're expecting the worst from people. This is a psychological baseline for us is that we expect that the person we're talking to, or the person that's talking to us, doesn't like us or is judging us, and so we immediately, just because of how our brains are wired, enter into a conversation, looking for all of the ways that my grandma said something that felt a little snarky and that means that she's judging me. Or my mom made this comment and that obviously means she thinks what I do isn't real or whatever it is right. Whereas if we can go into, if we can bring our spiritual awareness into these conversations and come back to that understanding that every conversation I have is for reason and purpose, every interaction I have has meaning. What is it? What's the meaning in this conversation for me? We immediately enter into that space with a more open mind and an open heart, looking for what's that little nugget of truth, what's that as Chantel would call it pearl of wisdom that I'm going to get from this conversation, knowing that in that cycle of keeping an open mind and an open heart, it's going to help the person you're speaking to to, of keeping an open mind and an open heart. It's going to help the person you're speaking to to also have an open mind and an open heart, and maybe they'll receive a pearl of wisdom from you just by you showing up and being open to the conversation. And this is one of those where, again, if you think about what you give is what you're going to get.

Speaker 1:

When we're acting from that space of defensiveness or we're reacting to something right, let's say that somebody makes a comment about something you believe really strongly in and your first reaction is to get really fired up and just immediately clap back at them. That energy is like an arrow shooting into the other person's energy field, which is going to make them feel wounded and cause them to shoot an arrow back at you, and it becomes this immediately triggered back and forth dynamic, whereas if you, again, as that spiritual black sheep, as the one who is really diving into your spiritual awareness, can take a moment and take a pause and say where is that hitting me and how do I want to respond? And this is where I love bringing in the chakras, because when we ask ourselves that question of where did that hit me, and we have this understanding of the chakras, it gives us this framework to understand how we want to respond. So, for example, if someone says something to you that you know, let's say, well, reiki is not a real job, right? I think a lot of people have heard that in our community. Reiki is not a real job and you can feel that hit your energy field and you can feel yourself get upset or frustrated or sad or anxious or want to collapse and you ask yourself where did it hit me?

Speaker 1:

Did it hit you in your root chakra and cause you to feel insecure, like your physical safety is in question? Did it cause that belief? I'm not safe to bubble up? Did it hit you in your sacral and make you feel like you're not worthy of creating these things, that you're not able to have that imagination and that fun and play? Did it hurt your inner child? Did it hit you in your solar plexus? With that, I'm not worthy, I'm not enough belief.

Speaker 1:

Did it hit you in your heart chakra with feeling like you're not worthy of connection, or in your throat that you feel like you can't speak up, and looking at how, with each of these chakras, with each of these limiting beliefs really that get hit, we can then use that chakra as a framework for how to respond. So, for example, if you feel it in your throat chakra and you immediately feel yourself close up, somebody says something and you just want to close up, you don't want to say anything, you don't want to respond, you feel really small, the way to balance out that energy is to respond in a really conscious way of you know, actually I see it this way Again not reacting, not throwing that arrow back, but taking that moment to pause, take a deep breath, find that level that it's hitting you and respond in a conscious way. Or again, if it's hitting you in your solar plexus and it's really hitting that, I'm not enough, I'm not worthy. The way to respond in a conscious way is to reaffirm to yourself these are the things that I am. I am a Reiki practitioner, I am successful, I am strong, I am confident and bring yourself back to that awareness that what they're saying has a lot more to do with them than it does with you, and so you want to be able to look at what limiting belief, what chakra, what area of my energy, whatever question, resonates for you. But where did that comment, that word, that phrase hit me, and what do I need to do to balance out that energy again? Right, so maybe it is your root chakra and, like Chantel said, what you need to do is step outside for a minute and reconnect with the ground and take a few deep breaths. Maybe it's in your heart chakra, and what you need to do is go find someone that you do have a really loving connection with and engage with them for a little while. Right, what do you need to do?

Speaker 1:

Knowing that this isn't, again, it's not a question of right or wrong. It's not a bad thing that you feel triggered. It's not a bad thing that you don't believe the things that the other people in the room believe. It is a sign that you are growing and you are evolving, and that fact that you're feeling triggered, that fact that you're feeling upset, is actually a really beautiful thing, because it is your brain saying that it feels safe enough to bring up the next layer of your healing to bring up this way that you could expand even more in your energy. And then that way we can start to see our triggers, like Chantel was saying, as opportunities, opportunities to expand our energy, opportunities to learn more about ourself, opportunities to learn how to respond instead of react, so that, instead of perpetuating those miscommunications or those you know barbed words, we can begin to be the catalyst for that openness and respect that we want to receive, by sharing that same openness and respect with others.

Speaker 1:

Knowing that you know, let's say, it hits your root chakra you need to step outside and take a few deep breaths. If someone comes outside and is like, hey, what are you doing, there's your opportunity to say, well, you know what? I was feeling really ungrouchy and I needed some deep breaths. Do you want to join me? And even something as simple as that can bring people in.

Speaker 1:

But one of the things that Chantel and I were talking about before we even hit record on this conversation was this idea of do you feel like an outcast? And this is really where that biggest sticking point, I think, for a lot of people going through their spiritual awakening find over the holidays is they end up feeling like they are the odd man out, like they're being targeted, like they're being judged, right. And there are going to be family members, right, everybody's family situation is different, but there are going to be family members who make you feel that way, who make comments that are designed to make you feel less than. But we can step back into our power and realize that we don't have to believe them. Those words are their business, that energy is coming from them, that perspective is a result of one of their own beliefs or wounds. And can we even in that?

Speaker 1:

Whether your family situation is beautiful and loving and you just happen to have different beliefs or it's a little barbed and tense, can you step back into your power and realize that I do not have to allow their energy to impact me? I don't have to allow their beliefs to make me question mine. They can believe what they believe and I can believe what I believe. Going back to that conversation we had at the very beginning of we're all coming to the table at the same level, can I let them believe what they believe without it making me question what I believe, without it making me feel like I'm less worthy and in that knowingness that I'm only responsible for my energy and my perspective. Can I then take those inspired actions through the lens of the chakras or your energy or whatever it is, to bring myself back into balance so that I can be an opportunity to have an open and loving conversation, whether the people around me decide to take that opportunity or not?

Speaker 2:

I always I call that it's the buffer zone between our emotions and our reaction. So it's definitely it's tuning into your chakras and where it's hitting you. I love all of that because it's true, that is the opportunity to observe yourself and noticing where those emotions are coming from, those triggers and those thoughts. But it's the buffer zone between our emotions and our responses and allowing ourself to take that breath, that moment, to say you know what? I'll be right back, even if it's just in your head. We don't always have to tell people I'm going to be right back, but it's within yourself to just go and take a break. But I think sometimes what ends up happening is because of our family history or our experience with it. Is we? We go in feeling like this is how it has always been and this is how it's always going to be with certain family members and so forth. Because, like I was saying in the beginning, typically if you're the black sheep of the family, the spiritual black sheep of the family, you've always had this target on you of being the weird one or whatever it is. And so now I feel like, when we have this awakening and this knowing and understanding of what that is and why that is. It empowers us within ourself to come to that realization of I'm not weird, I'm not strange, I'm not different. It's just I came in with a different precept, if you will, of mission or rules or whatever I'm going to do here, awakening my family members, right. And so I think that when we can come to that realization too, that we might be the one that's here to break generational traumas and curses and all these things, we don't have to necessarily share that, we just have that knowing within ourself. And that's where that personal power within our solar plexus can come in. And that's not ego and that's not saying I'm better than you or anything like that, but what it is saying is that I get to be part of the catalyst of change within the dynamics of the family, and that will invite others to get on board if they too are feeling inclined to do that and they're energetically being pulled towards it. And I can say, within my own family is that that's exactly what has happened.

Speaker 2:

There's still distance of understanding. You know, when I talk about certain things they're like you know that's not real right. And I'm like well, it is. You know, in my world it totally is. My power animals are completely real. You know, working with mystical creatures at times is very real to me. So if I speak on that level, my family is not necessarily going to understand that and run with that, because they don't understand what I'm talking about. Working with dragon energy or anything like that, and that's okay. So I know where my, my zone of genius, if you will, is. I know where I can go and what I can introduce to them, and I know what not to, and that's okay.

Speaker 2:

And so you know, maybe that's a later conversation and that and I feel like, when we're coming into these conversations is really like how much do you want to poke the bear? And that is what it is. It's like, if you're standing in that energy, that's fine. It's like what you were talking about, that energy exchange what you bring to the table, you will receive back. So there might be somebody who wants to poke you back on that, those arrows that you were talking about.

Speaker 2:

And I think, though, because we are raising to a different, a higher level of consciousness, I feel like we get to be that buffer zone. We get to be that safe space where people can kind of communicate the different ideas that they're having. And then, if they're not, we're not matching up in our energy and our conversation. We can just leave it as it is and recognize everyone is where they are. We are all coming from our line of perspective because of our life experiences, because of what we've learned, you know and that goes for everyone in our family you know. We have to honor them too in their own walk and where they are and what they've learned, right.

Speaker 2:

And so, coming back to the chakras, though, what I really do love about that is that it's the opportunity in the moment to say, yes, I am feeling triggered in my safety net here in my root chakra, because this is my family and I want to feel safe and secure and feel like I'm in, like the family nest.

Speaker 2:

And when you don't feel like that, that's really hard right, and so that goes into your sacral and what happened in your childhood and all that. But I do feel that these are just more opportunities for us to get deeper into that healing so that once it surfaces, we're good to go, and next year you probably won't have the same triggers, and the year after that you know, eventually you've done so much healing that it's okay and you get to be the observer. You get to come in and be more light hearted, be more aware and awaken to all of the conversations around you, and then it's just like the fun, loving part of yourself that is balanced gets to show up and you get to show them a different version of yourself that they probably have never seen. So I think it's just a good, well-rounded way of doing it.

Speaker 1:

Go ahead well-rounded way of doing it, go ahead. No, I was just going to say, you know, it reminds me of the invitation for everyone who feels like a black sheep in their family to really think about what are your expectations of what that means? And what I mean by this is a lot of the time when we go through our spiritual awakening and we start healing, or we find this way of reworking our limiting beliefs that really works for us, or we had this aha moment about how to heal trauma, or we do our first shamanic journey and our lives are completely changed when we get really excited about something because we saw this shift in our own life and we kind of take on this label, if you will, a little bit of this identity of I'm the one in my family who is going through an awakening, who is that black sheep, who is the odd man out. It can come with its own set of beliefs about what that role means, meaning that I have found that a lot of our students and a lot of the clients I work with when they go through their awakening, they take on this expectation for themselves that they have to be the one to challenge all of their family's beliefs. They have to be the one to share all of the weird experiences that they have or be really vocal, that if you're not being 100% honest about what you do for work, or what you do in your spare time, or what spiritual beliefs and techniques you're using with your family, then you are not standing up for yourself, you're not being authentic, you're not walking the walk of someone who's going through a spiritual awakening.

Speaker 1:

Right, it comes with almost this pressure to feel like we have to be 100% wild and woo-woo and free all of the time or we're just faking it. We start to get a little bit of this almost backwards, imposter syndrome of feeling like you know, if I'm not carrying a crystal, if I'm not willing to say what I think all of the time, if I'm not willing to challenge a family member when I don't agree with their belief, if I'm not willing to step into a room and be sending Reiki to everyone all of the time, then I'm not aligned, I'm not a good practitioner, I'm not truly a spiritual person. Whatever that story is for you, and I would invite you to get really curious about how does this show up for you, even if it's really subtle, because one of the things that Chantel touched on. That I think is so powerful is this idea that we don't have to share our stories all of the time. So, for example, my husband's family is a very fundamental Christian family. They have a really firm set of beliefs. They have 10 kids who are all brought up in this energy. They have a really firm set of beliefs. They have 10 kids who are all brought up in this energy. They have a lot of rules and regulations around what their children can and cannot consume all of these kinds of things that are very much in alignment with their beliefs. I personally don't agree with their beliefs, but that doesn't mean that I go in thinking that they're wrong. When I step into Thanksgiving with them, it's in this understanding that I'm stepping into their home. I'm stepping into their energy, this space that they have cultivated in alignment with their beliefs.

Speaker 1:

And can I think about how, if the roles were reversed, I would want my views to be respected, right and so when I'm in that space, they don't know that I practice shamanism. They don't know that I'm a Reiki practitioner, not because I'm lying to them, not because I'm hiding it, but because there's this recognition and respect, for they don't want that energy around their kids and that's okay, that is their choice, that is their belief system that they are living by. And I can honor my own belief and value system by showing up in kindness and in compassion and, when one of the kids gets upset, talking them through it instead of shoving that emotion down. I can still honor my own belief system and my own value system without having to say this is how I came by those beliefs and those values. And so what I, without having to say this is how I came by those beliefs and those values. And so what I'm trying to say by this is just because I step into that household and they don't know that I practice shamanism, or they don't know that I practice Reiki, or I'm not. You know, when one of them gets hurt offering to do a Reiki session, or when they start talking about their beliefs, about God, or when they pray, I'm not saying, oh, we need to put out a spirit plate as well, because that would be me imposing my beliefs on them. If the opportunity came up and they wanted to know, I would absolutely share.

Speaker 1:

And this is the difference. It's not that I'm not sharing what I do or who I am because I'm afraid of being judged or because I'm afraid that they're not going to understand, or because I don't feel like it's worth the hassle. It's out of respect for this home that I have stepped into, knowing that there will be opportunities for me to live up in alignment with my own beliefs and values. I don't have to sacrifice what I believe in to keep them comfortable, but I also don't have to parade my beliefs around in order to make them see that I am who I am. Does that difference make sense?

Speaker 1:

It's this very subtle shift of we don't have to constantly be showing all of our colors all of the time, because what's more important is are we living in alignment with our beliefs? Are we living in alignment with when we are Reiki practitioners or shamanic practitioners and we really believe in the power of compassion and open communication and being open-hearted and extending love to everyone and respect to everyone? What does that look like? Sometimes it's going to look like saying, hey, so I'm a Reiki practitioner and I have this thought on what you were just saying. And sometimes it's going to look like, wow, that's really interesting. I can tell that's really difficult. Tell me more. It doesn't always have to be.

Speaker 1:

Here's my belief, here's what I'm doing, here's where I think you're wrong, but it can be. Can I still uphold those values and beliefs of love and compassion and respect and healing and whatever it is, without having to impose them on someone else? So, again, that idea of if the roles were reversed and they were coming into your home and your energy, how would you want your beliefs to be respected? And this is something that I would love to bring to the table in this conversation is that idea that it's okay if how you show up in different situations is different, because not every situation is going to call for you to be standing fully in your woo woo nature and not every situation is going to call for you to sit and just observe. But when we can have that awareness of what is most in alignment for everyone involved, what is going to create the most love and connection, while staying true to my own beliefs and values that's really what it's all about and when we can take out that label of this is right and this is wrong and we can really just look at how can I approach this situation in alignment with my values, in alignment with what I believe to be important, and allow that to be the guiding force.

Speaker 1:

Suddenly the question of what do you believe or what don't you believe, what do you do or what don't you do becomes irrelevant, because it's really just how do you believe this situation should be approached?

Speaker 1:

Is it with respect and love and compassion?

Speaker 1:

And then, what does respect and love and compassion look like in this situation? Is it laying all your cards out on the table and, you know, giving them a little metaphysical anatomy perspective of why their big toe hurts? Or is it sitting in awareness of their beliefs and you know, kind of just acknowledging you know I don't agree, but that's okay and letting that be what it is and stepping into more of that observer mode and this is something that I love doing when I'm at my husband's family house is because I have such a passion for psychology and how our energy works and how we interact. I love taking the time that I'm at their house to observe, to really watch and see. Can I learn more about why they believe the things they do? Can I see the gift in how they love each other and how they operate in their family?

Speaker 1:

Can I see again what is that pearl of wisdom, what is that nugget of truth that's for me in this experience, knowing that this experience isn't here for me to talk, it's here for me to listen, it's here for me to observe. And can I step into that role of the conscious observer, so that what I witness can become learning for me, can become an understanding of them and can lead to again that cycle of reciprocity and respect, when I'm willing to sit for a moment and look at here that cycle of reciprocity and respect, when I'm willing to sit for a moment and look at here's a set of people with completely different beliefs than mine, and yet we still love each other and yet we're still connected, and yet we're all here in this moment. And what is the present of this present moment, what is the gift that I can receive from this experience, here and now?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because in the end, we're all people. You know, when you said that you can go and observe them, I got like, like it becomes like a petri dish sometimes. You know, because you are, you're learning, you're observing others and how they think and feel and what their beliefs are, and when we do that it's just for me. In that moment I just thought that was kind of funny what came through. But I love, like the spirit plate and different things that you brought up. But it is showing up in our authentic self and what is in alignment with it. And so it isn't always having to be upfront and loud about what we do. It is sometimes taking the backseat and just letting everyone engage and interact in a way that is more in flow with like coming together and in love and embracing each other and our differences, and not always to be the one that says, well, you know what this is, you're feeling that because of that, you're having that pain or this or that. And yes, do we have that knowledge Absolutely? And yes, do we have that knowledge Absolutely? But it doesn't mean that that is the time and place to be imposing that on them. You know, you can always just say, hey, I have a you know some ideas about that, like your big toe, like you said, and if you want, you know, next week give me a call, let's have a talk, let's have a conversation about that. That's a great way of just putting it on the table without having a long drawn out conversation that can become argumentative or where you feel like, oh, that wasn't where you want to. You walk away feeling like, was that the right conversation? Did I say the right things? You start questioning yourself, and I think that's where a level of protection comes in. Is that we are protecting ourself and the energy that we work with by being quiet sometimes, by not always just being the one that has to be out loud and outspoken and embrace. You know all of that because we have this energy that we're very aware of that we need to protect as well. You know, pre-reiki, pre-energy worker, I didn't always think like that, where I got to go in and protect energy and everything, and if arguments happened or not so much arguments, but just this disconnect or this, you know, just conversations that aren't fun, I don't. I just don't want to engage in that anymore. But that's my growth, that I've had to embrace and which has been a lot of fun for me, because what used to be a trigger, now I can just see it for what it is and walk away from that and it's okay and let it be thought provoking later.

Speaker 2:

And that's the thing too, is knowing if you are having thoughts that come forward, feelings and all this. Put them in your, like, spiritual bag. Let that be something that you digest later, doesn't even need to be in the moment. You can table that for now and then go back to it later on and say, hey, you know what, what is it that I need to think about? And if that seems to be something that you need to energetically heal, clear, have a conversation about? You absolutely can at a different time, but sometimes you know, being in the moment is just a moment for you to also recognize what can be healed and changed in that relationship. And do you want to continue that? You know, like, if you have issues with certain family members, maybe it's just time to change the energy of it so that that can be a healed relationship. Otherwise it's going to happen forever.

Speaker 2:

You know, and sometimes that's we all have that family memory where you get in a conversation you're just like, oh, and so I just feel like we definitely have a lot of things that we can do. Where it's either we are coming from a perspective of change, you know, just recognizing where everybody's at we can, like we said, take a break, take a breath, do all these things. That really is the work that we do, and so it doesn't need to always be here. I am and I want to teach everything.

Speaker 2:

Here's a, b, you know, through Z, on what Reiki is and energy healing and whatever. But I'm not sacrificing what we do, you know, because sometimes that is what it feels like, because then what happens is a lot of times that platform isn't the right time to give the information and they're not going to hear you anyway, and then they're going to walk away and the seeds that you planted won't necessarily be positive seeds, they're going to be negative ones and they're going to oh, did you hear about that Reiki or did you hear about that idea? And then their mindset won't even be able to embark on the journey of wanting to learn about it or hear about it, because it's not the right environment. And for me it's like I would rather plant the positive seeds to help plant, to help those grow, versus the negative ones, because I wanted to speak about it right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, and you know, one of my favorite things about this conversation is that, in all of the paths that we've taken on perspectives about what it feels like to be the spiritual black sheep, they all come back to where's your self-worth at? Do you believe that you are worthy to have an aligned, connected, secure, glowing experience, whatever that looks like for you? That's the first step, as well, as do you truly believe that your opinion is worthy to be heard and that others' opinions are worthy to be heard? Can we come into this holiday season with this solid understanding and belief that we are all, like Chantel said, we're all just people. We are all the same. We are all holding our own lowercase t truths and we're all trying to say the same thing. We're all trying to get to that capital T truth, and can we recognize the solidarity and the community that comes from that fact that we are all experiencing the capital T truth through our own lowercase t truth versions, and there is a beauty in that. So can we come to the table with this belief that everyone's opinions are worthy and valuable and therefore yours are as well? You are worthy to have a positive, uplifted experience. You are worthy to have your opinions heard, however that looks. And then can you take it a step further and be willing to allow those conversations to unfold in the way that is the most aligned and the most flowing for the situation, meaning there will be times when it's time for you to speak up and share and be your wild and woo-woo self, and there are times where it's going to be your turn to listen and to observe and to maybe not be as completely open. And can we take the right and wrong, good and bad out of both of those situations and just recognize that both of those experiences, both of those ways of showing up in authenticity are valid? They are both going to have their time and their place, depending on the situation you're in, and there's nothing right or wrong about either of them so long as you're doing them in that intentional, conscious way of what is the most aligned, what is the most in flow for everyone involved.

Speaker 1:

Right now, when I know that I'm worthy, when I know that I'm not wrong, that I'm not bad, but when I know that I can stand and this is what I believe I can then see more clearly is this a time to share it or is this a time to hold it true in my heart and allow the conversation to keep flowing, knowing that both of those are valid options. And if you get to that point where you know you're feeling triggered or you're feeling defensive, one of my favorite things to do to help bring your mind back into that smooth place, instead of feeling triggered and frazzled, is, if someone says something and you start to feel judged or you start to feel like they don't believe you or that they don't like you, or whatever it is, is asking yourself can you 100% know that that is what they're thinking? And the answer is always going to be no. But the beauty of this question is that it really forces you to slow down and see, oh, I was imposing my own perceptions on what they said. I was imposing my own beliefs on what they said, unless, of course, right, they blatantly say I don't like you or I don't agree with you, or whatever it is. But oftentimes, when someone says I don't agree with you, we hear I don't like you. And that's again where this question can you know that to be true? Can you know that that is what they meant when they said I don't agree with you? No, you can't. And so that's where you recognize that those are my own beliefs at play, coloring the conversation. Can I choose a different belief instead? Can I recognize that hostility bias when it's at work and come back to that connection of there's meaning here for me, there's something positive here for me. What is it? Can I look for the good instead of automatically assuming the bad right?

Speaker 1:

And so this is just one of many different techniques that we've covered over the course of this conversation, so I think I would love to wrap up with a little recap of some of the ways that we've suggested to help move through this holiday season in a really aligned way. Right? So starting with, like we were saying, knowing that everyone's opinions are worthy and valuable, knowing that you are worthy to stand in your truth, whatever that looks like, and taking the right and wrong out of how that looks, taking the right and wrong out of did you completely speak up for yourself or were you just listening? There's no, just here. Every experience is valid, but can we use our marker of success this year as? Did we let it flow? Did we follow the flow of the conversation, whether it was calling us to speak up or it was calling us to listen? Did we follow the flow and can we show up in a way that's aligned with our values, with what we believe in? Right?

Speaker 1:

So, taking a moment, even to journal about this before you go into your next family or friendship encounter of what do I value most, taking the labels of Reiki or shamanism or whatever it is out of it, what do you value? Is it love? Is it respect? Is it compassion, is it open communication, is it authenticity? What are those beliefs and can you set those as your marker for success in this holiday experience? Right, because a lot of times we might leave that holiday experience thinking, oh, I didn't tell them about Reiki, or I didn't show up fully, or I didn't speak my truth and it was a failed experience. Right, but if you go in with your marker being I'm going to show up in respect and compassion and love, it takes away that attachment to an outcome, so that what you talk about doesn't matter. How much you shared doesn't matter. It's how did you share it? How did you show up? Were you in alignment with your values? And can you use those as your markers of success?

Speaker 1:

We also talked about, in the moment, looking at taking that deep breath when you feel like you've gotten hit with an emotion and thinking what's being triggered right now, choosing how it resonates most for you. What limiting belief, what chakra, what part of my energy, what part of myself, where is it hitting you? It's a great question. And then asking yourself and what do I need to bring balance back to my energy? Knowing that until your energy is balanced, you're going to be reacting instead of responding. Right and so where is it hitting me? And what do I need? To make a conscious choice to bring my energy back into alignment and giving yourself the grace and permission to go do that thing Again, taking the right and wrong out of it.

Speaker 1:

It's okay to go, step outside and take a few deep breaths. It's okay to take a bathroom break so you can say your affirmations to yourself and bring your solar plexus back into alignment. It's okay to do what you need to do to have an aligned experience. And then, of course, keeping up with your energetic hygiene right Before you even step into that family space. Have you visualized yourself surrounded by white or violet light? Have you brought along your protection crystals? Have you wrapped yourself up in a Reiki bubble, have you? One of my favorites is visualizing myself surrounded by a selenite tube, so that I can see everybody's energy and they can see mine, but they can't touch.

Speaker 1:

Have you repeated your affirmations? Have you called on your power animal or your spirit guide? If that's part of your practice, have you done your energetic hygiene before you step into that space? And when you're in that space, are you keeping up with it? Are you letting it lapse? Are you kind of leaving it open? Or are you just coming back to that visual every now and then? Or coming back to that affirmation that your energy is protected, whatever it is for you? Are you keeping up with your energetic hygiene?

Speaker 1:

And then, like Chantel was saying, can you take those experiences that you have, the ones that maybe they don't need to be processed in this moment, and put them in that spiritual bag? Put them in that spiritual box so that you can unwrap them later and do a journaling session that night or talk through it with your significant other or meditate on it later, so that again you can really pull out. What was the wisdom in that? What was the lesson for me? What was the gift of this experience, even if it wasn't necessarily the kind of experience I would have wanted for myself, can I still pull that gift out? What other ones am I missing, chantel?

Speaker 2:

I think you pretty much got them all. Yeah, I think that just listening to the recap, it's like we really did put a lot out there. One reminder, though, I want to do is a lot of what we're talking about is how we feel in the emotions and what we need to do, but also recognizing that they're probably feeling the same thing. They might be feeling judged, they might be feeling anxiety or stress over the conversation, how they're feeling. So I loved when you were saying can we 100% say that that sigh or that expression was directed toward, you know, to us? Maybe in the moment they're not feeling well, maybe they had a negative thought that came across about work and so they had this expression on their face, but we are taking it for ourself and it has nothing to do with us. So we really do need to understand, and be in the space of that, that not everything is about us as well and that they might be having the same feelings of insecurities that we're having in that moment. And so when we can come to the table with compassion and love and respect you know, mutual respect it's going to help them to feel more relaxed and it's going to help them to feel more relaxed and it's going to help us to feel more relaxed because chances are to. They're not going to have all the tools we're talking about, they're not going to have all of the conscious awareness of how to bring themselves back into balance. So for them, they might go home and have a whole lot they need to unpack, because they had a conversation with us or whatever, and us we're able to go and take a breath and go for a walk and we're bringing ourselves back into balance. So we really do need to also think how are we impacting them?

Speaker 2:

And so when for me in this moment because I went through a lot where I was trying to expose so much like, say, diet, you know food and stuff with my parents, and at some point I stopped and I thought you know what I'm putting so much like, say, diet, you know food and stuff with my parents, and at some point I stopped and I thought you know what I'm putting so much effort into giving this to them because I know it can help, but you know it was laying flat on them.

Speaker 2:

And here we are, like four years later, and they're finding their walk, they're changing their diet, they're doing it. We will all find our way and our time and our own space space and we just have to have trust in that and to know that it's okay and to just, like I said, have that balance with each other and just know we're all human. We're here to have this experience with each other, and family events aren't always fun, but we can make them funner and better and more appeasing when we can come in and have a smile on our face and laugh and be involved instead of pulling ourself away from it all. But I really you did great on recapping it all. I think it really does come down to balance and perspective and just bringing that in for yourself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, like you were saying, at the end of the day, recognizing that what we're all searching for when we connect with someone, whether it's a family member or a spouse or a friend or even just yourself what we all want at the end of the day is to feel seen and heard and witnessed and cared for. And can we bring that energy to our family members, whether we agree with them or not, knowing that again, they might be experiencing the same feelings you're feeling. They might be experiencing something entirely different, but when we show that care and respect and compassion to others, we'll receive it back as well, and it will help us, in turn, to have more compassion and respect for ourselves, because if we can show that to someone we don't agree with, to someone who sees the world differently, then it becomes so much easier to show it to ourselves as well. And so I hope that all of these tips and techniques have helped you. I hope that you walk away from this podcast with some ideas of how to approach your next family or friendship event. We would love to hear how it goes for you.

Speaker 1:

Over in our Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group, we have a community of over 4,000 amazing individuals who are all walking this walk, who are all feeling like the spiritual black sheep, and we'll hopefully be stepping into this holiday season in a really conscious and intentional way so we can all support each other there. And with that said, thank you, as always, to all of our listeners for joining with us in this conversation. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast if you haven't, and until next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within. Thanks for tuning in to today's show.

Speaker 1:

The Wisdom Rising podcast is sponsored by Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting app and be the first to know when we release a new episode. You can find us on Instagram, facebook, youtube and TikTok at Moon Rising Institute, or visit our website, moonrisinginstitutecom to learn more about our mission and find future opportunities to connect with our community of shamanic mystics. Once again, thank you for sharing space with us today, and until next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within.